“I would change nothing in my life if it meant not being here now. These words, when spoken freely, without a waver in the voice or blink of the eye, suggest we have arrived at a place of healing. They imply that we now understand how every trauma we have suffered in our lives has played its role in bringing us back to ourselves. These words can only be spoken sincerely when we have fully grasped that life has damaged no part of our original nature, and, despite our tribulations, we have returned home to remember who we are, why we are here, and what we are supposed to be doing about it.”
Lonnie S. Jarrett, The Clinical Practice of Chinese Medicine
Just to ensure that we are all on the same page, let’s discuss the concept of healing. It might seem like a simple enough word to you, conjuring up the immediate thought that healing means getting well and being cured. However, it’s important to understand that diagnosing, treating, and curing are all human medical constructs or word concepts, whereas, healing is a natural spiritual process within our journey as human beings.
Healing is spiritual growth and development. Healing is a journey back into our deep inner core self, or as Lonnie Jarrett refers to it, “our original nature.” Healing is about looking for that place within you, and more broadly within your greater family system, where the flow of love is blocked or interrupted, and taking the action steps to re-open the doorway through which love can flow freely.
Healing is a journey that is more complex, wholistic, or systemic than treating or curing. Since each journey takes up time, a time commitment to healing is important. Healing is your way of being; it is a lifelong commitment.
Healing is not something we fully experience when we engage with most physical or mental health care systems today. For example, if a person has the symptom of cancer, which many refer to as a journey, and they remain focused only on the wellness of the physical body, then they are not fully embracing a healing journey.
Healing begins at the deep inner core of our being, what we frequently call the soul or spirit. Healing does not begin with the outer shell of our human existence, that which we refer to as the physical body. Most of us have a tendency to view the concept of healing through a somewhat narrow lens. We think our health and wellness is limited to the wellness of our physical body and we look to others to supply us with a cure or quick fix. It’s time for us to become re-acquainted with our full magnificence as spiritual beings, the capacity of our body and mind to heal themselves, and the broad spectrum of our wellness. Healing begins within. It’s a journey back to self to realize that our life experiences, traumas, and symptoms have not touched that deep authentic part of us that chose to experience the challenges of this human lifetime.
Until you return to your deep inner core self, addressing the layers of suppressed emotional wounds that keep your authenticity hidden from you, the physical or mental symptoms and/or relationship patterns in your life will continue to occur. What we consciously or unconsciously feel we didn’t get in childhood from our mother or father is felt in every cell of our body, and remains there into adulthood, unless healing takes place. This body felt sense may reveal itself as a great emptiness inside or a great unconscious longing. It may arise as feelings of abandonment, suffocation or inundation, lack of safety, or overwhelming vulnerability in relationships. There may be feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy in daily life or a general inability to feel fully alive or filled with joy.
The unhealed emotional wounds of childhood will continue to surface over and over, causing us to unconsciously seek healing from others through our adult relationships. We unconsciously and energetically seek partners and friendships to help us heal these wounds, but the results we seek are illusory. We often become disappointed or disenchanted with these relationships when the old familiar longing or feeling of abandonment returns. Others cannot provide us with our healing; only a journey inward to connect with self, to find compassion for self, to learn healthy boundaries and how to parent self, and to find love for self will still the feelings of emptiness, sadness, pain, or longing. That’s not to suggest that healing eliminates these sensations and feelings altogether, however, our response to them is different when we are healed and filled with wellness. They will no longer have the capacity to unconsciously direct our life and guide our behaviour.
The first step in healing is acknowledging the need for healing and committing to your own healing journey. When you courageously open this doorway, healing love can begin to flow freely within you and out into the world.