Radical inclusion is a complex systemic family constellation concept. When we take the time to acknowledge those who are energetically and emotionally missing from our own family system, we have the opportunity to gather valuable insight about our own lives. As we gain compassion for the past and present experiences of others, we also find our own emotional holding patterns illuminated and opened to a healing journey.
Radical Inclusion Part 1
Part 1 of Radical Inclusion talked about the family members you would rather shun and touched upon the systemic relationship of the victim and perpetrator. There are those within our family system that are presently missing. Your action steps are to acknowledge those family members who have been missing, to listen to the message they have for the family system, and to create healthy relationships where they were previously unhealthy. This pertains to family members who are alive today and to those who may have transitioned to the over side. I briefly touched on the energetic entanglement of the victim and perpetrator that brings each into the family system of the other. I asked whether you have the capacity to live compassion and radical inclusion in your own life.
Radical Inclusion Part 2
Part 2 discussed the inner journey of radical inclusion; acknowledging and accepting any dark emotional aspects of yourself that you would rather avoid. We are challenged to be in relationship with others, with ourselves, and with the infinite world beyond our knowing. Regardless of your belief system around the divine or higher powers of the universe, there is an understanding that both good and evil are embraced equally by the divine universal energy. In fact, universal energy openly embraces both good and evil. Each has a role to play in our spiritual development and one cannot exist without the other. It was a journey into the laws of duality or polarity using the example of good and evil. You were encouraged to explore, rather than avoid, your full spectrum of emotions. I illustrated how World War II gave individuals the opportunity to explore the full spectrum of good and evil. I asked if there was any action step you could take to engage more fully with the darker shadow emotions that might include anger, resentment, guilt, shame, or grief.
Radical Inclusion Part 3
Part 3 wants you to take a brief look back at your own family system. Please understand that there is no more for judgement or blame in radical inclusion. It involves looking back, it was what it wa,s and we cannot change the past. We can only observe and accept the past. There are no errors or mistakes in life, there are only lessons to be learned. It is up to you to reframe the way the past was imprinted or stored in the cells of your body. You do this by evaluating the past from a compassionate adult perspective and you let go of the narrative stored by the child. The child was not able to understand the whole big picture family dynamic into which he was born.
General Impact of War
As an exercise, take the time to reflect on how your family system was impacted energetically and emotionally by World War I, World War II, any other war of the past century, and/or the great depression of the early 1930s? If you come from another part of the world less affected by these events then choose a major social upheaval from your region of the world that occurred in the past century. Your parents and grandparents may not have talked about these events in the decades to follow, but every cell of their bodies holds an imprint of their emotional response during these difficult familial and societal times. These emotional traumas may have passed down to you and/or your children. They are revealed in the emotional patterns you or your children utilize today. There may be other underlying causes of these feelings, sensations, or symptoms, but don’t be lulled into thinking that the items on this list are “normal” healthy ways of being in the world. It’s time to do something about it if you feel negatively affected by the past in some way, especially if these emotional patterns seem to have a life of their own. Imagine yourself in the scenario of a war, or the depression, in place of your parent or ancestor. Can you understand how they may have passed these emotional response patterns onto you?
Blocks to Radical Inclusion
Some of the patterns that trail through families include:
- Stoic unemotional distancing behaviours;
- Unexplained fears;
- Overwhelming feelings of loneliness;
- Blatant prejudices;
- The need to hoard;
- Fear of not having enough;
- Dark emotional periods;
- Fear of not being able to do enough;
- Startled by or dislike of loud sounds;
- Inability to enjoy life fully;
- Anxiety or depression;
- Heart palpations or sense of impending doom;
- Feeling a war raging within;
- Fear that you will hurt or kill them;
- Fear that they will hurt or kill you;
- Unexplained inner rage, anger, or irritability;
- Hyper vigilance, constantly on alert to danger, or overly cautious behaviours;
- Emotional disconnection, numbness, or paralysis;
- Unexplained grief and sadness;
- Flashbacks or nightmares;
- Unexplained feelings of guilt or shame;
- Fears around safety or security and the need to control your environment;
- Addictive behaviours to alcohol, prescription or recreational drugs, sexual activity, gambling, exercise, work, food, or anything else; or
- The stiff, jerky, rigid body movements that sometimes accompany Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
These signs and symptoms in your family system may be revealed in the way individuals interact with one another. Some symptoms may relate to the wars or the depression or they could be related to any other family trauma, such as individuals dying too early or tragically.
Healing with Radical Inclusion
I would like to stress that if you and your family are emotionally very healthy then there is no need to look for issues. Go on enjoying life to the fullest. However, avoidance or pretending as if everything is just fine is not emotionally healthy. If you let these transgenerational unresolved emotional patterns continue, they may begin to show up as physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, or relational symptoms, conditons, or illnesses. I’m bringing this information forward for those of you, or your children, who are struggling or stuck in life in some way. Be alert to these emotional patterns in your own family system because you can do something to shift them energetically.
Are you willing to embrace radical inclusion and look back at your family system without blame or judgement?