Being drawn to the dead or turning to the dead are phrases that frequently arise in systemic family constellations. Each living family member, and this includes you of course, has the systemic potential of being drawn to the dead. Within the field of systemic family constellations and energy healing this is a fairly common energetic phenomenon that arises and it passes down transgenerationally until someone addresses the unresolved emotional issue.
Being drawn to the dead means that you may be energetically entangled with someone in your family system that has died. It does not mean you are going to die in the near future. However some individuals carry the feeling or sensation that they are supposed to die. You may feel like death is lurking in your energy field. For some, death continually shows up in their life. You may fear death. There may be an overwhelming interest in death. Frequently, being drawn to the dead manifests as an inability to fully embrace life, perhaps showing up as depression or another condition.
Benevolent Messages
Being drawn to the dead can show up as chronic illness and other symptoms and conditions. It may manifest as repetitive life patterns that don’t serve you well. Being drawn to the dead may be revealed through relationship or financial issues. You may have any number of addictive behaviours such as workaholism; drug or alcohol abuse; unhealthy shopping or sexual behaviours; gambling; eating disorders; excessive television, computer, or cell phone use; or extreme exercise regimes. It may show up as other mental health, psychological, or spiritual life issues. You may feel stuck in life and unable to move forward. All of these symptoms are benevolent messages from your unconscious mind. Something needs to change in your family system.
Energetic Entanglement
Being drawn to the dead is an energetic entanglement that occurs unconsciously out of love and loyalty to the greater family system. The family system continually seeks balance and healing when family members are missing or there is an energetic and emotional family wound or trauma that was never resolved. Symptoms or unhealthy family relationships often draw our attention to the place of un-wellness in the family system.
Being drawn to the dead occurs when a soul unconsciously sacrifices itself to carry or share the fate of another family member or group that are no longer living. For some reason they desire to be acknowledged or to have an unresolved family wound brought forth for healing. This unconscious sacrifice can occur as early as conception, while in utero, or in early childhood. The individual is drawn to the dead to carry this family wound until it is addressed and finds resolution.
Recognizing the Entanglement
The following list will help you figure out if you or someone you love is drawn to the dead energetically.
- A sibling, aunt, uncle, great aunt or great uncle died as a result of miscarriage, abortion, or stillbirth;
- Someone in the family died giving birth;
- A sibling or other family member was given up for adoption or given away to be raised by others;
- Some family member died too young or tragically;
- A family member was born out of wedlock and excluded;
- Former intimate partners were treated poorly or did poorly after the relationship split up;
- A family member was shunned, caste out, excluded, forgotten, or missing;
- You share symptoms, chronic illness, or other conditions similar to any family system member who died too young or tragically, or conditions that point to the one that died;
- You share life event dates, anniversaries, or ages with someone who died too young or wasn’t mourned sufficiently;
- You are named after someone who died too soon, committed suicide, or died tragically in an accident;
- You have a sense of something or someone missing in your life;
- You feel disconnected or distant from other family members;
- You experience depression or have suicidal feelings in life;
- You carry an overwhelming sense of sadness for no apparent reason;
- You have conditions that keep you from accepting nourishment such as eating disorders;
- You have difficulty being present as a parent physically, emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually;
- A parent died too soon;
- A family member died in a war;
- A family member carries survivor guilt from war, accidents, or other life tragedies;
- A family member fought in a war and de-humanized those fighting on the other side;
- You may have parents, family members, or ancestors who were responsible for the suffering or death of others and you may be aligned energetically with those who suffered or died;
- A family member left or was institutionalized (shunned, forgotten, or excluded);
- A family member intentionally or unintentionally harmed or killed another person and you may be aligned energetically with the victim or the perpetrator;
- There is a deep family secret;
- There is an unresolved emotional family wound around your family’s immigration;
- A family member suffered or died at the hands of others;
- You may have been a twin in utero but the other twin died (many pregnancies carry twins initially but one dies before it is recognized as viable);
- You were born too early during gestation;
- You continually lack success in following your life path;
- You continually lack success in relationships; or
- You are impacted by other circumstance that hold you energetically to the dead and feeling stuck in life.
What’s Next?
At this point, you may have an inkling that you are drawn to the dead or someone that you love is. I encourage you to catch my next post for suggestions of what to do if you feel you or someone you love is drawn to the dead. Reading my past posts will also help you identify any energetic entanglements you may be carrying through your family system.